March 9, 2017 By Hester Bergh-Appoyer No comments yet Cross-cultural Connector, Here's my why!, Intercultural Training, Keynote Speaker on Intercultural Topics, Leadership Coaching, Leadership Skills, NeuroLeadership, Simon Sinek's why, Start with Why
Ever wondered why some of us do what we do?
Simon Sinek in his book and Ted Talk “Start With Why” asks us to imagine what it would be like if we could all learn to think, act and communicate like those who inspire? Imagine that! Thinking, acting and communicating like leaders! For someone like me – in fact anyone working in the world of communication and getting people to say what they mean and mean what they say with heartfelt clarity – this idea is super important!
Why did Simon write his book? He mentions that he hopes to inspire others to do the things that inspire them so that together we may build the companies, the economy and a world in which trust and loyalty are the norm and not the exception.
Why am I writing my book? I’ll get back to that! First this. Long before discovering Simon and his brilliant “Start With Why”, I had stumbled over my own – but – had silenced it with enough internal noise on not being good enough, qualified enough, researched enough, name-it-whatever-you-want-enough. I put my idea, and the why I thought it urgent then to write a book, on the back burner. But then my why started burning my butt. Badly. In that time I read Simon’s “why”, got the inspiration and a no-but kick-butt call to action – just like he sets out to do. Mission accomplished.
Why risk making a fool of myself?
Why risk exposing myself?
Why risk making myself more unpopular than popular by making others feel uncomfortable in their comfortable realities and truths?
Why challenge “tried and tested” ways of doing things when most people are happy doing what they’re doing just the way they’re doing it? Why not just write a book with some nice how to’s? And. Why is nice not nice?
Why is nice not enough? Ever?
Jeanette Winterston another source of writing inspiration reminds me that: “Writers are not here to conform. We are here to challenge. We are not here to be comfortable – we’re here to really shake things up. That’s our job”. I love that. Don’t you?
So here’s one of my why’s. I want a world in which more honesty and less “niceties” are the norm – and not the exception – and I want people to connect, communicate and co-create with one another no matter where they are, no matter who they’re talking to.
Not too long a wish list is it? Then, tell me why is it that we don’t live in a world where trust, loyalty, honesty and less niceties are the norm and not the exception?
I firmly believe that one of the biggest causes in our not communicating honestly with one another is our fear of not being liked and accepted, so we end up conforming. And we conformed before we learnt to question things. We have become masters in only communicating what we think is “nice” and “safe” – a decision to survive and coping skill. Decisions based on emotions (positive or not, nice or not, healthy or not) – in other words “why” based decisions – are steered by our, knee-jerk, instinctual, gut-feel reactions that were put in place long before we could speak and by this I don’t mean grunts and groans, but language. In other words reactions triggered by our “reptilian” and limbic (emotional) brains.
And there you are thinking you only have one brain.
Anyway. This is no biology lesson so back to my why. Emotions stirred by Simon, with an overriding belief that it was/is high time I set out to challenge the “nice”. And of course, to shake things up a bit, in true writer Hester style.
Here’s another reason why you should get into the habit of “why-ing” more often! When you feel like throwing in the towel, when your eyes go off the prize, when you slump into a dump of no go states and thoughts, frustrated with life – go back to your why. Think about why you started in the first place and let that inspiration fill your inspiration tank again. And again. And again.
That’s one damn good reason to start with why!
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Stay brilliant, keep sparkling and look out for more news from your no-buts kick-butt intercultural success coach!
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