Conflict Resolution
Dog Sniffs and “What ifs?”
Dog Sniffs and What Ifs
Monday’s Brain Massage: “Dogs bark at things they don’t understand” Heraclitus.
I picked up two Indian street-puppies at the beginning of the monsoon in June last year. Experiencing life through their eyes has been, albeit a challenge, full of wonder. They remind me almost daily (it’s sadly getting less) to “understand” their barking. Whenever they see someone or something for the first time they bark, are apprehensive in their approach and, until they’ve sniffed it OK, they continue barking at it. Some people and things never get their OK, and that is OK because they gave it a try and a good old sniff. Not their problem anymore.
When we are confronted with things new and “strange” we (mostly) immediately switch into negativity-bias mode. We bark at the unfamiliar. We bark our criticisms at the ideas, things and people and turn our butts to any possibilities and potential.
Why?
Where did you learn or who told you to do that?
What if you started “sniffing” a few “what if?” questions instead of bellowing “what is”? We all know that your “what is” and my “what is” isn’t really what is.
And what if, this week, you try some “what-iffing” and if you hear something you, at first, want to spontaneously bark at, try saying “hey, that’s interesting, give me some time to chew on it”. You never know what new aromas and fragrances might drift your way to make your week and day!
Wishing you a fan-fun-tastic week, 
Contact me if you need a guiding “bark” at https://salt-pro.com/contact/
3 A’s for A-1 collaboration and conversation (and less conflict)
Accountability, Apologizing & Attention
It’s the fifth day into the new year! You’ve been gifted with 5 new days, and a “how to” get your butt going in 5 easy steps (or 5 seconds – see my post on the 3rd day) with a little F.O.R.C.E. I am adding to that: personal accountability, apologising and giving attention.
Hopefully, you’re now (re)energised and ready to rescue and light up the world – or – do whatever is in your ability to make this year a whole lot brighter than the last one!
You’ve made the almighty decision, you want it bad, you’re going to get good at it and stick to it like glue!
Go for it! You will make an absolute cracker-jack kick-start kick-butt contribution to collaboration through conversation and here’s some more tried and tested A-1 tips to support you – 3 x A’s.
A1: Accountability. Or answer-to-ability. Or own-up-ability. The ability to take account for and of your actions is a personal choice to rise above your circumstances i.o.w’s stop thinking and behaving like a victim. take ownership and achieve your goals. Embrace it! Don’t get stuck on the yellow brick road. And if you don’t believe me read The Oz Principle.
A2: Apologizing. We get taught to and then we either forget or choose not to. Why? Is it defensiveness? Pride? Because you don’t want to let the person you should be apologising to, “off the hook”? Are you an non-apologiser? Is your not apologising protecting your fragile sense of self? There’s no need to ask “what have I gotto do” anymore – it’s not always easy, but it is simple. Apologise.
A3: Attention. Remember that? Remember how you felt when you weren’t getting it from a parent, lover or your boss? Think of flowers that don’t get attention. They wane and wither. What would happen to your business if you didn’t give it to your attention? What should happen to your conversation if you don’t give it your all? It’s so easy to spread our attention (thin) across our devices that we’ve become mind-full and not mindful. We’re losing the all-important life skill of staying focussed. And contrary to the saying that you must “pay” attention, attention is absolutely free and comes with the bonus that it generates interest (financial and personal). Attention leads to meaningful conversation. Attention determines how well you do something. You earn and learn with attention. Attention could (even) save your life.
If you cannot gift someone with your presence by being present, get out of the conversation!
Frankly? It’s madness and arrogance to think you can keep doing the same old stuff and expect different or better results. If you’re not getting what you want and you have a bunch of new exciting ideas for your new year then drop your old unserving habits and start doing things differently. And, if you have been taking accountability, apologising and giving your attention you are more than likely content with how things are turning out for you at work and privately so not breaking your head over things you think you have to achieve. That’s AWESOME!
Let’s do this. All year long. And for as long as you breathe.
Embrace the deeds of accountability, apologizing and attention. Honor them and celebrate your integrity!
,
your no-buts kick-butt sparkplug cross-cultural communication and collaboration keynote speaker and coach. If you’re interested in getting more contact me!
About Hester
WHAT HAVE I GOT?
30+ years (or nearly 60 000+hrs) international business experience in sales and marketing (cosmetic and pharmaceutical); tertiary education, the financial and construction sectors with:
- 60% of my activities dedicated to training (corporate, colleges and universities; SA, SEA and EU);
- 30% dedicated to coaching, consulting and mediation;
- 10% dedicated to doing keynote talks and presentations.
THE NO-BUTS KICK-BUTT SPARKPLUG!
Hester is a speaker and story strategist, communication craftsperson, cross-cultural connector, and change activist. She possesses a uniquely fresh “street-kid” savvy which allows her to share her bold yet refreshing coaching approach with her corporate clients all over the world.
She has vast experience in training, coaching, consulting, mediation and more recently key note speaking on the subject of cross cultural communication and co-working. She was also commissioned to write a book, The Flying Rhino’s Guide to Intercultural Communication by a leading international cardboard and paper manufacturer in 2015.
Born South African, she has lived and worked in South Africa, India, the EU, South East Asia and CEE (Central Eastern Europe). In India she started working on her cross-cultural communication book – an anecdotal non-fiction on things “they” don’t tell you.
By the age of ten she had logged more than 10 000 unaccompanied flying miles and as a young person spoke on a local radio show telling about her solo travels to distant destinations and, she remains an inspiring and uplifting storyteller.
Here a more detailed account of her-story. You can also get more of her insights and musings on fb.
Her black on white qualifications: Ayurveda Practitioner; Neuro-Science and Neuro-Leadership; Systemic Coaching; Conflict Mediator; Social and Life Counsellor; Business English Trainer (CELTA/LCCI London Chamber of Commerce ARELS-CERT TEB); Dipl. in Marketing Management; Dipl. in Management And Sales Training.
SOME FUN & SPARKLY STUFF!
As per a questionnaire that went around on fb not too long ago:
♥ Tattoo? No ♥ Piercings? Yes 3 – in earlobes ♥ Married/Divorced? Experience in both ♥ Children? Yes a beautiful son! ♥ Operations? Yes ♥ Prison? Not telling ♥ Weapons? Fired a rifle on my grand-daddy’s farm and now have a very unique thumb print on my left thumb. ♥ Left/walked out of a job? Yes ♥ Fired staff? Yes ♥ Been Fired? Yes, thank goodness! ♥ Awards/Distinctions? Not telling – I might put you off contacting me ♥ Have you seen the moon from the Equator? Almost, Kuala Lumpur is very close to it and I lived and worked in Malaysia for almost 6 years! Awesome! ♥ Flown in a helicopter? Yes, with my son and 2 spaniels! ♥ Converted? Many times – foolishly – keep converting back to myself, like this version best! ♥ Cried over somebody? Oh yes! Often! ♥ Been in love? Oh yes, with the ones I cried over! ♥ Skipped school? Sure! You? ♥ Been in an ambulance? Yes, after a diving accident ♥ Been to the Amazon? – no but Bornean jungles and climbed up the highest mountain in SEA – Mt Kinabalu. ♥ Been in a TV show? Not yet ♥ Been on a radio show? Yes, as a kid. ♥ Won something? Not the lottery but some very precious friends ♥ Caught snowflakes with your tongue? Yes ♥ Animals? let’s not go there – will take up the whole page – love rhinos! ♥ Ridden a motorbike? Yes ♥ Ridden a horse? Prefer motorbikes ♥ Do you donate blood? Yes because I am O-neg and once had to wait 24 hours for blood. ♥ Do you love what you do? What kind of a question is that?
♥ What do you do? Click here
♥ Want to know more? Get me here info@salt-pro.com
Recent Comments