Leadership Skills

10
Jan

Slow down, dig in! A life skills read on getting things done.

Slow down, dig in and do the thing!

Don’t run, slow down – he said pulling her hand back.
I can’t – the sand is too hot, it’s burning my feet – she moaned while hopping up and down, flicking the stinging sunburnt grains further up her legs.

Her constant clambering and tugging at his arm and hand in an attempt to lift herself off the ground was making his progress along the thick sand more difficult so he stooped down, put down his load and let her sit on his knee while he whispered a secret into her ear.

This little “dadeloog” so loves secrets. And walking barefoot.

Slow down, he instructed gently. Take your time. Every time you put your foot down start digging into the sand with your toes. Right under the hot, hot there is cool, cool. I promise you. When you find that place slowly shift yourself onto that foot and then do the same with the other foot. Dig your toes in, find the cool, stay a while, move over. And then the other foot. And then the other. And before you know it you’ll be perfect at it and we’ll be home.

She, in her childlike way still tried to get him to carry her, but he was already burdened with some of the basics they went to town for. If only he had taken the other truck – now he’s had to leave the feed behind, in the broken down truck. The baboons are going to have a feast. And, he should’ve insisted she take her sandals.

I can’t – she continued to resist.
How do you know you can’t – he asked. Have you tried it? Do you know you can’t? At least do it and if you really don’t get it right I’ll help you – he encouraged her with a smile on his face – hoping.

And so, as if knowing that he was going to prove her wrong, again, she unwillingly took that step.

If little else remains of the very tall old man whose face has faded in her memory like the time-bleached sepia shots of a family long gone, her grandfather’s words to slow down, dig in and to do the thing before convincing herself that she can’t, ring loud and clear. Just like the excited echo of the raucous baboon chatter in the rocky mountains running north and south alongside the farm.

Still today she finds herself digging in and slowly taking one step at a time when the going gets tough and things get hot!

One of my “Lewis” stories – the farm in the Kalahari. With love, Hester

5
Jan

3 A’s for A-1 collaboration and conversation (and less conflict)

Accountability, Apologizing & Attention

It’s the fifth day into the new year! You’ve been gifted with 5 new days, and a “how to” get your butt going in 5 easy steps (or 5 seconds – see my post on the 3rd day) with a little F.O.R.C.E.  I am adding to that: personal accountability, apologising and giving attention.

Hopefully, you’re now (re)energised and ready to rescue and light up the world – or – do whatever is in your ability to make this year a whole lot brighter than the last one!

You’ve made the almighty decision, you want it bad, you’re going to get good at it and stick to it like glue!

Go for it! You will make an absolute cracker-jack kick-start kick-butt contribution to collaboration through conversation and here’s some more tried and tested A-1 tips to support you –  3 x A’s.

A1: Accountability. Or answer-to-ability. Or own-up-ability. The ability to take account for and of your actions is a personal choice to rise above your circumstances i.o.w’s stop thinking and behaving like a victim. take ownership and achieve your goals. Embrace it! Don’t get stuck on the yellow brick road. And if you don’t believe me read The Oz Principle.

A2: Apologizing. We get taught to and then we either forget or choose not to. Why? Is it defensiveness? Pride? Because you don’t want to let the person you should be apologising to, “off the hook”? Are you an non-apologiser? Is your not apologising protecting your fragile sense of self? There’s no need to ask “what have I gotto do” anymore – it’s not always easy, but it is simple. Apologise.

A3: Attention. Remember that? Remember how you felt when you weren’t getting it from a parent, lover or your boss? Think of flowers that don’t get attention. They wane and wither. What would happen to your business if you didn’t give it to your attention? What should happen to your conversation if you don’t give it your all? It’s so easy to spread our attention (thin) across our devices that we’ve become mind-full and not mindful. We’re losing the all-important life skill of staying focussed. And contrary to the saying that you must “pay” attention, attention is absolutely free and comes with the bonus that it generates interest (financial and personal). Attention leads to meaningful conversation. Attention determines how well you do something. You earn  and learn with attention. Attention could (even) save your life.

If you cannot gift someone with your presence by being present, get out of the conversation!

Frankly? It’s madness and arrogance to think you can keep doing the same old stuff and expect different or better results. If you’re not getting what you want and you have a bunch of new exciting ideas for your new year then drop your old unserving habits and start doing things differently. And, if you have been taking accountability, apologising and giving your attention you are more than likely content with how things are turning out for you at work and privately so not breaking your head over things you think you have to achieve. That’s AWESOME!

Let’s do this. All year long. And for as long as you breathe.

Embrace the deeds of accountability, apologizing and attention. Honor them and celebrate your integrity!

 ,

your no-buts kick-butt sparkplug cross-cultural communication and collaboration keynote speaker and coach. If you’re interested in getting more contact me!

9
Sep

“Being Nice Isn’t Enough!” gets invited to the UNWG

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Being Nice Isn’t Enough!

How to cut the niceties and get to real collaboration!

It’s official. It’s been announced!

I have been invited to do a keynote on why “Being Nice Isn’t Enough” (my new in the “sending-to-publishers-phase” book) when wanting to cultivate real cross-cultural competence, conversation and collaboration at…
wait for it…
the United Nations Women’s Group in Vienna, on the 21st of September 2016!

That’s BIG and (even if I say so myself) awesomely EXCITING!

OK, I must also admit that I am having a whole lot of fun today! Fun Friday!

I have been in the process of uncluttering my website and putting in the key message of all messages. The Being Nice Isn’t Enough! book/keynote/seminar/coaching message.
I have also been having fun with rewording my “about” page and found the words “rebel” and “sparkplug” and I want to “SALT” sparkplug everywhere to describe myself and what I do. A sparkly sparkplug!

More about my current work and writing…
“Being Nice Is Not Enough – How to cut through the niceties and get to real collaboration.” is aimed at the business reader who is working with culturally diverse teams or across borders “Being Nice Is Not Enough!” is going to change the way you communicate and connect with people – simply by mirroring and undoing some of your habits, bias’, patterns and language that no longer serves you! The unconscious internal glitches – that contribute to conflict rather than collaboration – that should get dumped in the ditches. (Thank you to my coach and mentor Kate Emmerson)

“Being Nice Isn’t Enough – How to cut through the niceties and get to real collaboration”, an international personal/leadership skills and (non-generic) business communication book is also written for non-academic readers including non-native English speakers involved in international interactions. Without “dumb-ing” it down too much “Being Nice Isn’t Enough – How to cut through the niceties and get to real collaboration” is written in a narrative and witty tongue-in-cheek style. It is a merging of my real-time “put-my-foot-in-it” trip-ups and intercultural feaux pas’ over the past 25+ years (yes I’m that experienced) of personal and international business experiences with my later studies and research on the fascinating albeit, at times, painfully embarrassing topic. The fact that I (and my son) were born into a post-apartheid culturally and politically changing South Africa also provides me with an experientially packed classroom! A wanderlust and attraction for the unknown fuelled by opportunities to work and live in foreign countries fill the chapters of “Being Nice Isn’t Enough!” This book provides humanly erring insights, reflections and practical answers to some of your cross-cultural questions – by undoing unhelpful habits and replacing them with good old guiding principles. An absolute must read when it hits the shelves!
I host “no-buts-kick-butt” authentically sparkplug keynote talks, seminars, team workshops and personal coaching on “Being Nice Isn’t Enough – How to cut through the niceties and get to real collaboration.” Get me, get us!

SALT logo_n

4
May

Home

Connect. Communicate. Co-create.

WELCOME  TO MY WORLD

I support people across cultures in cultivating connection through clarity in communication.

My work in

South Africa, South East Asia, India and the European Union

has taught me that

  – collaborative co-creation can only happen through curiosity –

   – cross-cultural success relies on how well we know ourselves and our culture –

– intercultural savvy (CQ) goes beyond sharing a common language and “being nice” –

This is what I do

I support you in your cross-cultural business activities and communication skills. My coaching and training provides insights and “user friendly” tools to assist you in understanding complex cultural and communication issues.

Much of your/our success depends on the words we choose to use. When we understand how our own culture and social conditioning affects our communication and behavior, we become better at understanding others.

Language acquisition, honed communication skills, as well as a shift in perspective and attitude, fosters an inclusive approach which promotes individual as well as team success.


WHAT’S IN IT FOR YOU?


Why I do what I do

I so enjoy being instrumental in and contributing to “a change for the better” in our world. We all need to change our personal and collective thinking – 2020 has proven this – and the only way to do this is through the conversations we are having. We need to put a better message out to the world!

What I do

In a nutshell? “cultura”(Latin) which comes from the verb “colo” or “colere” means to tend, care, look after and cultivate. I support people in communicating and bringing their ideas and ways of doing things, together.  Meaningful communication and interpersonal collaboration is achieved with curiosity, compassion (EQ) and cultural understanding (CQ).

What others say

They say you’ll fall in love! And, get excited, inspired to “get going” and get what you want by my encouraging no-buts, kick-butt style!

How I do it:

Through conversation and thought provoking questions to inspire reflection, clarity, action and change. I also blog a bit.


4
May

Coaching for Transformation

Man’s mind, once stretched… 

Man’s mind once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.  Oliver Wendell Holmes.

%
of everything we learn is actually applied!
%
is lying dormant in our subconscious!
%
achievement of personal excellence

Studies show that we humans only put into use 20% of what we learn while the other 80% is left inactive, on our subconscious shelf. This means that because we’re only doing 20% of what we could be doing we’re only achieving 20% of our true potential.

This means that you are only achieving 20% of your greatness!

It’s time to change this! It’s time (re)activate the 80% wealth of resources you have stashed away in your treasure chest and let it see the light of day!


Coaching and Transformation 

Transformation – word origin and history – mid 14c.,  from Latin “transformare”. To change the shape or form – from “trans”- meaning across and “formare” meaning to form.

Transformation is not change. Think of water. Freeze it, boil it, steam and condense it – it changes form but returns to being water. But, when something has been transformed it cannot return to its original state.

Having the flexibility to change is good – having the courage to transform your life is better! You are the only one in charge. You can go for the 80% and live large. Or stay where you are. Your call.

You can achieve more than you imagine – you simply have to want it.

Our guiding map will be:

  • curiosity  – to rediscover your wealth of resources

  • courage – to challenge un-serving beliefs, let them go and re-invent yourself

  • consciousness – to engage with compassion and clarity

  • collaboration – in a non-judgemental, no nonsense way

  • commitment – accountability to show up in your new life

The Coaching Process

Primary focus and model: creating actionable strategies for achieving specific goals.

What’s it about: a desire for change, by your personal definition.

Past reference: only briefly, to understand the past as context in which move forward toward the things you want.

Questions: to seek insight and clarity – the emphasis is on activating action.

Your goals: identify existing resources, new skills, new tools and insights and to “move”, by personal definition, to a more empowered, satisfying and successful future.

Accountability for goals: coaching goals, like business goals, usually have to do with one’s external world and behaviour, and can be measured.

Relationship: co-creative equal “partnership” I offer insights and  perspectives which support you in discovering your answers.

Function: to identify your blocks and challenges; to turn challenges into victories and hold you accountable to achieve them

My style: kick-butt to your yes or no buts! I’m going to nudge, propel, catapult, spark, and apply direct, straight talk.

Rate of change: growth and progress is rapid! Like any other “change” process it can be uncomfortable at first but is replaced by a high sense of achievement.

Responsibility for outcomes: me the coach = process; you the client = results.

YOUR TRANSFORMATION STARTS HERE AND NOW

  • All our “content” is treated in the strictest confidence.
  • All coaching is conducted as per legal requirements of the professional coaching body and adheres to regular supervision and ethical practice.

Contact me if you would like to know more or want to make an appointment.

General Terms and Conditions.