Skill matters because skills matter!
Why courage in consistency?
Firstly, when we look for, and accept, praise we create an image of ourselves on the reflection of how others see us but we get no consistent feeling of self worth like this. Instead, we get a feeling of “foreign” value and we become dependent on an unstable “in-put” system.
Consistent investment in ourselves is the only way to nurturing valuable self worth and confidence, and that takes courage.
#couragecorner #couragereflected #consistencyiskey #consistency #consistencymatters #consistencypays #consistencycoach #hesteryourholisticcoach #investinyourself #selfworth #nurtureselfworth
Secondly, your future doesn’t depend on your past, but in the choices you make in every moment right now. Stay with it. Courage and change come with consistent choices, you need to choose carefully, and that takes courage.
#consistent #consistentchoices #choosetothrive #choosewisely #choosecarefully #couragecoaching #chooseabetterfuture #choosecourage
Thirdly, a complex constantly changing world mostly demands complex solutions.
But, sometimes it only requires simple ones. Stay courageous. Stay consistent. Don’t overthink things.
#kiss #keepitsimplesilly #dontoverthinkit #consistencyiskey #consistencypays #simplesolutions
Then, remember that “castles in the sky” can become real. Look around you and the “castles” others have managed to build. Castles in the sky are your first steps to a vision. But only, the first steps. And your firsts steps are the spade work to laying your castle’s foundations.
Making the first step takes courage, the rest of the way requires consistency, otherwise they remain castles in the sand.
#castlesinthesky #courageousbeings #courageousconversations #couragecoaching #consistencyoverperfection
And finally, some days you’ll feel those dreaded setbacks – “splat”.
You’ll feel shattered, sore or simply flat. But take courage in knowing you’re not alone…pick up consistency and take her home.
Rest, relax, nurture and care, because courage and consistency are for those who dare…
#idareyou #couragetogrow #splat #consistencybuildsmomentum #yourenotalone #consistencytakeseffort #consistencybuildscredibility
If you need support in finding your courage, and seeing it through with someone to hold you accountable to your castles and actions – I’m right here!
With love and light I wish you much courage in challenging times!
Is there such a thing as language lunacy?
In what other language do you ship things by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have you heard of noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a “slim chance” and a “fat chance” mean the same thing? And why is a “wise man” the complete opposite to a “wise guy”?
Where else will you find that quicksand works slowly and that boxing rings are square?
Why is a guinea pig a guinea pig when it is neither from Guinea nor a pig?
Why, if teachers taught, didn’t preachers praught?
And if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of English in which your house can burn up as it burns down, and, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and, in which an alarm goes off by going on.
Can you think of others? Share them in the comments below!
We cannot change the past but we can change the present and when we do, tomorrow’s past is already different.
What do you want?
What do you need?
What requires more courage than usual?
Is it your “start” or “stop” patterns?
Is it your (limiting) beliefs?
Is it your environment (family, friends or work)?
Is it your dialogues (internal and interpersonal)?
What requires courage of you to shift, change and grow?
Experience is what you get, when you didn’t get what you wanted.
Knowing and accepting that joyfully takes, but also creates, courage.
Would you like a little more courage?
Do you wish you were a little more brave?
Would you like little more know-how to courageously and confidently deal with your challenging situations?
Genuine decisions, I mean real good and tough decisions, always mean losing certainty and surrendering security.
What courageous decision are you making for yourself today?
What are you prepared to give up for yourself?
Would you like to talk it through before you make and do?
#sparklecourage #surrender #gooddecisions #takecourage #sparklysurrender #surrenderforsuccess #surrenderformore #certifiedlifecoach #systemiccoaching #neuroleadership #communicationskills #communicationiskey
If you need a sounding board or a mentoring mirror, someone to hold your space while you explore for a while feel free to contact me on email@example.com
Sending you love and light,
I thought I would share with you how emotional tweaks to words like “thanks to”, “because of” and “despite” turned our global lockdown into my own happy “lovedown”.
Some months ago, in the middle of the global lockdown I was in South Africa. One of the things that kept me “sane” was the possibility to stay connected to family and friends, thanks to various online possibilities. In this “never ending” lockdown, it was hard not to feel the emotions and uncertainty of the impact it was having on all of us. We started “comparing notes”. We exchanged information like the conditions, incidences, as well as rules and regulations in our respective countries. I want to tell you that the lockdown in SA was really bad!
After some lengthy “jammering” (slang for moaning and complaining) with a precious friend she shared this: We can refer to our experiences as “because of” the virus or “thanks to” the virus.
I hadn’t thought of it like that! It made me sit up and reflect – some more.
One of the things I fell in love with during lockdown was knitting. I hadn’t knitted a thing since my last school project when I was about 14 years old. When the shops eventually opened for a few hours every day, I went out to get some material and came home with knitting needles and wool instead. I watched a few “how to” videos on YouTube and confidently started casting on stitches. I finished 5 magnificent projects in 3 months. It was fantastic. And blissfully therapeutic.
One day, while sitting knitting in the warmth of our wintry sunshine I heard the rattle of a contraption outside. I looked out to the street below and saw a man in an overall pushing his bike. The back wheel was flat. He had baskets, laden with with the tools of his trade, tied onto his bike. I didn’t want to take a photo of him, but sometime later this one was posted on fb. I saved it.
South Africa is a real time depiction of “life on the edge”. It reminds us of how hard life can be in a country with a shabby social support system. It is a daily nudge that life must go on, even when we’re feeling “flat”. I think of “grateful” differently.
So, while putting on stitches; counting stitches; dropping stitches; unravelling and picking up stitches; correcting stitches and piecing together the parts with stitches, I thought of life. As I was perfecting I was also perfectly content with my im-perfect work. Knitting is like life. We can cast on (expand); cast off (let go); unravel and pick up (correct mistakes and move on); count (check progress); and piece it all together to create a warm and embracing thing to wear.
At the same time many other South Africans were knitting up something fantastic; they were knitting thousands of scarves to leave in public places for those in need! Awesome or what?
Our lockdown becomes my personal “love-down”.
All of this got me thinking, and assuming, that most of us would rarely start something and not finish it. We would at least try finishing a project to the best of our abilities not so? The same goes for our lives. We can:
Carl Jung said: “Often the hands know how to solve a riddle with which the intellect has wrestled with in vain”.
I thought that if we do “opt out” it could be because it’s the right thing to do. Rather that than pursue something that really isn’t going to end up the way we imagine(d). We are able to “unravel”, see where or what went wrong and, choose a different approach or direction. Or, we can simply bail out, cut loose, ditch, dump, surrender and take a walk. Letting go, giving up and quitting is, in some instances, the better option.
I’ve done that a few times in my life. And I’m ever so grateful I did. It has been an opportunity to start over and do better.
I have collected experiences and stories which I can be really grateful for and which I might still be thankful for in time to come. I also got to add my own “despite” the (vile) virus versions of life.
And I was reminded of pre-India days that many of my clients were resistant to doing online work with me. And now, thanks to Covid…
So what does the willingness to do this online “work” despite the current situation our world is in, say about you?
It says you are the up to date master of self-discipline and personal destiny – despite all the restrictions, adaptations, inconveniences, discomfort and change.
In spite of all the negativity around this viral thingy, it has opened up alternative, pocket friendly and location free training/coaching solutions for you, and, of course, me too.
I thought it helpful to finish off with some South African and grammatical examples:
I’m ready when you are and very excited at the prospect of us (virtually) seeing each other again soon! We can hook up on WhatsApp, Google Teams, Google Hangout, Zoom, Skype – you name it we can do it either one on one or in a group session.
Your can contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org or WhatsApp +43 664 486 1405.
I wish you love, light, good health and plenty of sparkles,
PS: Have you worked out how to use “in spite of” and “despite” yet?
In spite of and despite are used to link two contrasting ideas or show that one fact makes the other fact surprising. They can be used at the beginning or in the middle of the sentence.
After in spite of and despite, we use a noun, gerund (-ing form of a verb) or a pronoun.
It is common to use in spite of and despite with the expression the fact that, followed by a subject and verb.
Shift November into Know-vember!
Do you know that “2020 Vision” means perfect vision?
So much of your success depends largely on having a vision, seeing the big picture, having goals, being able to keep an overview of your progress and staying focused on your aspirations, yet, as time goes by your dreams and goals become blurred, we eventually lose sight of them and you…
And then something unexpected like Covid happens and everything related to it has, for some, horrible consequences. We’ve all been hit in some form or another by this rather unattractive, uncomfortable and unpleasant “cherry” on top of all our other day to day challenges.
2020 has certainly brought some new perspectives and views with it.
But it doesn’t have to be all bad…
November offers you the opportunity to turn no’s into resounding YES’s but we all know that is so much easier when we know why and how, so go for it, turn November it Know-vember. What better time to dream up, think up and set up plans than right now? Do it – before you find yourself making more redundant resolutions for the coming year and set the “same old, same old” cycle in motion.
I know that within you, you possess the power to be your very best self even in times of crises. Everyone can get “stuck” at times – and that’s OK! What’s not OK is finding excuses, deferring joy and satisfaction because of it and doing the same stuff over while you expect things to change or get different results. That doesn’t make sense.
I won’t empower you, you are already “power”. I will share beautiful nuggets, tools and tips to enhance your personal mastery and fem-power so that you can close this year out strong, ready to embrace and truly look forward to your future.
Can you imagine…
Come! Connect with me! Refresh, reset and regain your wow-ness, confidence, calm and your knowing that, come what may, you’ll be clear on what you want and that all will be good in your future.
Love, light and good health, Hester
Did you know that by changing tenses in your statements you open up a creative space in your communication which also reduces “tension”?
#tension is also known as stress, anticipation, discomfort, nervousness, conflict and “cold feet”
Did you know that by changing the tense of statements you make, you can challenge the intensity of an embedded limiting belief?
Let’s say you firmly believe that you are not capable of doing something and you say something to the effect of…
I could never do that, or
I would never be able to do that, or
It will never work, I don’t see eye to eye with…
What tense do we have here?
These statements are not based on past experience; they are predictions of something you think might happen and so because you believe you’ll fail, statements like these prevent you from trying stuff! You give up before you’ve even started.
What do the following statements tell you?
I am not a team player, never was…
I am a perfectionist.
I am “compulsive obsessive”.
I’m no good at numbers so that is nothing for me.
“I am” statements put you in a box and throw away the key! You identify yourself as that and that’s it. No change possible here either because when you apply the present tense to negative experiences they become static states. Statements like these are mostly uttered in “autopilot mode” and they manage to dominate and defeat any desire for change in that they strengthen the belief you so casually convey.
But, what if you were to put them into the past or present perfect tense? Look at the statements again:
“I could never do that” becomes “Up until now I have not been able to do this.” The tension is removed and there is a subtle shift from “that” – which is out of reach – to “this” – which is within your reach, and therefore possible.
“I am not a team player” becomes “My experience of working with others in a team has proven challenging, but I am always willing to give it go.”
“My … and I don’t see eye to eye…” example sounds decidedly more upbeat like this: “My …and I have had disagreements in the past but, …”
Changing the tense, removes the tension and opens up possibilities and opportunities.
Using the word “now” also mindfully draws others’ attention and participation to the here and now.
“Now” is especially effective when a task or idea requires an immediate decision or action. The question “what do you need now?” or “what do you want now?” is huge in bringing people who are either stuck in the past, or overwhelmed by future options, back into the mindful present. If you’re feeling stuck, or procrastinating ask yourself what it is you want. #notimelikethepresent
Using the future tense enables you to imagine future possibilities. When people get stuck in present problems you can ask them “what would it be like if/when…?” or “what would you like to have/happen instead…?”. It works. Almost like magic!
Don’t you just love that?
I wish you much success in shifting any tension with tenses, and if you need some support to do that, or simply a little bit of magic for life, contact me! This is what I do! About me.
A lexical approach to discovering more about ourselves, our values, life, cultures and creating a better world through the words we choose to use.
Following up on “Confrontation Creates Conversation” (What’s in a word – What’s that you’re saying? Part 1) I thought it would be exciting to now, add a bit of POW! to make your conversations more wow!
POW! – can also be described as having clout, esteem, guts, pizzazz, say-so and “what it takes”.
Clout means to have influence, standing and authority.
Spellbinding – means to hold someone’s attention as if by magic. Also known as fascinating, enthralling, entrancing, captivating, riveting, gripping, very exciting, thrilling, absorbing, compelling, hypnotic and magical. Origins: dated back to the 1800’s from the words “spell” (magic) and “bind” (captivate).
Imagine that? You?
Sure you. Here’s how.
But first. Let’s start from the very beginning.
The full article on page 56 of the Business Goa Magazine!
Heaven knows staying on track is difficult!
Keeping up the pace, the motivation, the “being nice”, being friendly, supportive and understanding saps a whole lot of energy out of one – especially when doing this in unfamiliar environments – it’s easy to get derailed and blame others for things gone wrong!
But, If you keep your eyes on the prize – and (all of) you contribute to commitment – you’ll (all) be the greatest contributors (not dividers) to cross-cultural collaboration!
How cool is that?