Cultivating Collaboration
“Being Nice Isn’t Enough!” gets invited to the UNWG
Being Nice Isn’t Enough!
How to cut the niceties and get to real collaboration!
It’s official. It’s been announced!
I have been invited to do a keynote on why “Being Nice Isn’t Enough” (my new in the “sending-to-publishers-phase” book) when wanting to cultivate real cross-cultural competence, conversation and collaboration at…
wait for it…
the United Nations Women’s Group in Vienna, on the 21st of September 2016!
That’s BIG and (even if I say so myself) awesomely EXCITING!
OK, I must also admit that I am having a whole lot of fun today! Fun Friday!
I have been in the process of uncluttering my website and putting in the key message of all messages. The Being Nice Isn’t Enough! book/keynote/seminar/coaching message.
I have also been having fun with rewording my “about” page and found the words “rebel” and “sparkplug” and I want to “SALT” sparkplug everywhere to describe myself and what I do. A sparkly sparkplug!
More about my current work and writing…
“Being Nice Is Not Enough – How to cut through the niceties and get to real collaboration.” is aimed at the business reader who is working with culturally diverse teams or across borders “Being Nice Is Not Enough!” is going to change the way you communicate and connect with people – simply by mirroring and undoing some of your habits, bias’, patterns and language that no longer serves you! The unconscious internal glitches – that contribute to conflict rather than collaboration – that should get dumped in the ditches. (Thank you to my coach and mentor Kate Emmerson)
“Being Nice Isn’t Enough – How to cut through the niceties and get to real collaboration”, an international personal/leadership skills and (non-generic) business communication book is also written for non-academic readers including non-native English speakers involved in international interactions. Without “dumb-ing” it down too much “Being Nice Isn’t Enough – How to cut through the niceties and get to real collaboration” is written in a narrative and witty tongue-in-cheek style. It is a merging of my real-time “put-my-foot-in-it” trip-ups and intercultural feaux pas’ over the past 25+ years (yes I’m that experienced) of personal and international business experiences with my later studies and research on the fascinating albeit, at times, painfully embarrassing topic. The fact that I (and my son) were born into a post-apartheid culturally and politically changing South Africa also provides me with an experientially packed classroom! A wanderlust and attraction for the unknown fuelled by opportunities to work and live in foreign countries fill the chapters of “Being Nice Isn’t Enough!” This book provides humanly erring insights, reflections and practical answers to some of your cross-cultural questions – by undoing unhelpful habits and replacing them with good old guiding principles. An absolute must read when it hits the shelves!
I host “no-buts-kick-butt” authentically sparkplug keynote talks, seminars, team workshops and personal coaching on “Being Nice Isn’t Enough – How to cut through the niceties and get to real collaboration.” Get me, get us!
C#3 – Cross-cultural consciousness
consciousness vs. disregard
Consciousness vs. disregard describes one person who is aware and mindful that others from different backgrounds share the same values and have different ways of doing things, and disregard describes another person who demonstrates disinterest and detachment in their dealings or interactions with others from different countries.
This “disregard” only gives others the perception that you are (maybe) inconsiderate, biased and narrow minded when, in fact, you are not? Or are you? Is that how you want others to “see” you?
Or, do you get others? “Getting” others – is the ability to demonstrate a conscious “listening for” (not to), a consciously empathetic understanding for and good basic knowledge of other cultures. Can you?
Talking at, telling, instructing and using imperatives does not invite anyone into dialogue and shows a disregard for their involvement, worth and values. Are you doing this?
Are you showing consciousness? If yes, fantastic – you are a born cross-cultural collaborator! If not, don’t go into hiding!
Get me to help you become a cross-cultural collaborator with consciousness, courage and curiosity!
C#2 – Cross-cultural courage!
courage vs. arrogance
Are you courageous enough to encourage collaboration? Can some of your actions be percieved as arrogant?
Unconscious “us” vs “them” talk – be it due to fear of not knowing something or embarrassment that goes with (possibly) looking stupid, cultivates a biased arrogance – “my way is the best way” – normally expressed with generalisations – “they’re all the same”. This language certainly doesn’t promote collaboration.
Getting cross-cultural collaboration up and running in a new international team or project not only requires curiosity (C#1), but also a healthy dose of courage (C#2). Knowing what you don’t know, being able to acknowledge imperfections and that that you don’t have all the answers involves personal risk taking. It also makes you more human. Your sincerely curious and courageous approach to establishing collaboration will foster a quick and committed bonding between team members – no matter who, no matter where.
Courage means taking risks. Be courageous. Stay Curious. Create collaboration. Because (sometimes) Being Nice (simply) Isn’t enough! It’s such a valuable ingredient to your cross-cultural success mix.
PS: CQ = Cultural Intelligence
C#1 – Curiosity never killed any cat!
curiosity vs. indifference
Cats whiskers are very sensitive! They are like fine radars – or sensors you have in cars that warn the cat when it’s getting into a tight spot! So forget the old wives tales of cats getting killed because they were curious – that was just an attempt to get you to stop asking questions. What the old wives really should have told you is to develop some cross-cultural curiosity – to be curious, not indifferent.
As children we are protected from all sorts of harm by our well-meaning parents – and in some cases causing more unnecessary harm. Asking too many question got us silenced, we were warned about “talking to strangers”, and overheard our close circles of reference talking (negatively) about others – us (inclusive) vs. them (exclusive). This “killed” our curiosity and limited our cross-cultural and interpersonal potential.
Why?
Because it could percieved as indifference. Like you don’t care. A given cold-ness. Look at all the fear or scaremongering going on in the world and ask yourself where that comes from?
Be Curious. Be open for new things. Be spontaneous. A good dose of cross-cultural curiosity will certainly add fun and success to your intercultural activities like cross-cultural collaboration, and cross-cultural communication. Different ideas and experiences are the doors to new “worlds” and opportunities which enable you (or your team/organisation) to grow. And remember, “Being Nice (most of the time, simply) Isn’t Enough!”.
Develop that curiosity – it never killed any cat!
There’s more on what you can do to cultivate cross-cultural collaboration through conversation following shortly!
An idea from Hester and her book “Being Nice Isn’t Enough!”
Vienna and Being Nice Isn’t Enough!
Being Nice Isn’t Enough!
I trust you’re enjoying the balmy days of a late European summer, or, the fresh new days of a Spring!
I personally fled the wet and wild Goa-n monsoon in June. It was simply too stormy, turbulent and grey for me. In exchange, I enjoyed the South African bush winter of crisp blue skies warmed by rays of sunshine. I also covered about 5000km’s in road tripping and rhino patrolling. It was a glorious time with family and friends. I had to add a bit of body padding with the help of delicious home-made bakes and cakes!
The last 2 months have also been very exciting in the sense that I have submitted my book proposal to a few publishers in the US and UK. I recieved – albeit very direct – guiding and encouraging feedback! I feel more confident (I have no choice because giving up at this point is certainly not an option) and currently re-working some of the pointers given by the publishers. Here’s a snippet:
Being Nice Isn’t Enough is an “undo” book (with illustrations by Karin Hofmann).
Have you ever left a meeting or negotiation wishing you could undo some of the things you said?
Have you ever walked out of an argument wishing you could undo your last statement? Do you feel perplexed, peeved or plagued by cross-cultural misunderstandings? Are you “rolling your inner eye” at seemingly sloppy operations, and getting vexed by others’ disregard for timelines and bogged down by long decision making processes? If yes it might be (high) time to undo some of your “tried and tested” ways of doing things.
Being Nice Isn’t Enough takes an untypical turn-things-on-their-head approach to why people do what they do in foreign and unfamiliar situations. It illustrates what can go wrong and why you end up with unintended, undesired outcomes. It achieves this supporting you in undoing unhelpful habits, undoing unsupportive behaviour and un-cluttering communication which, if left unattended, lead to unprofitable cross-cultural business activities.
Being Nice Isn’t Enough, is an international business communication book for readers who work with culturally diverse teams or across borders. It is also written especially for the non-native English reader. Without dumb-ing it down too much Being Nice Isn’t Enough is written in a narrative and witty tongue-in-cheek style merging the author’s real time personal and business experiences with researched theory. It provides insights and answers to many cross-cultural questions.
How? You will be nudged into “undoing”
- age-old survival strategies you’ve inherited, learned, cultivated which show up as your core values, beliefs and unconscious triggers about your assumed cultural identification
- how you use your language and ideas on words like manipulate, trust, respect and nice
- what you think you know about others and what engages and scares you and them.
Being Nice Isn’t Enough is packed with thought provoking “undos”, practical how to tips and tools as well as simple and fun illustrations.
By undoing a lot of what you have been thinking, saying and doing, this book is going to impact what you get as opposed to what you want. It will change the way you do business and how you communicate and connect with others – no matter who and no matter where.
Please hold your thumbs for my Being Nice Isn’t Enough!
I (really) look forward to seeing you between the 12th of September and the 9th of November in Vienna, and remember that my diary is almost full so if you would like me to spend some time with you, contact me now!
Stay safe and remember to keep sparkling!
Autumn in Austria!
Returning to Vienna this Autumn!
“creating confident communicators – cultivating collaborative conversation”
Taking bookings now from 12th September to 9th November 2016
Goa has been and still is good!
A sense-ual celebration of the visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, olfactory and gustatory elements – colorful and kaleidoscopic; bold and brassy; hot and humid; aromatic and acrid; delicious and delightful! And at best, confusing!
Here’s something really funny and absolutely true when it comes to their “language” – verbal and nonverbal. I still have to check for understanding!
Getting on with everyday things have also been a challenging daily reminder of how much curiosity, clarity and understanding cross cultural communicators need. Curiosity is certainly very supportive in order to cultivate collaboration through communication. Wouldn’t you like to know how?
Speaking of clarity – while the skies are blue and there are many more hours in your day – I need to make hay! Please remember to plan and fix your skills and language appointments for Autumn, ASAP!
You know how the saying goes – if you snooze you lose!
Wishing you happy days and a sensational summer! Hester
Cross-Cultural Collaboration & Communication
Cross-Cultural Collaboration & Communication
Good manners, sharing a common language and Being Nice (simply) Isn’t Enough to ensure success in your cross-cultural collaboration.
Cross-cultural Collaboration
- goes deeper than a “when in Rome do as the Romans do” attitude
- can only happen through connection and clarity in conversation
- starts with looking at your own mindset, beliefs, fears and attitude.
- means having a deeper understanding your own culture and values
This is easier said than done. Many well intended “universal” applications like being nice, treating everyone the same, sharing a common language and expert technical know-how – that worked out well in one setting – turn out badly or fail completely in another.
Expensive business suits, corporate smiles and fancy titles don’t guarantee collaboration. Success in your own domestic market doesn’t guarantee it in another. Breakdowns in communication and collaboration happen and well planned business dealings go wrong. Why?
Get your Intercultural Communication Competence brochure!
Cross-Cultural Savvy means you…
- have core competencies in profiling people and cultures
- strive for clarity in your communication
- can focus on goals but are flexible on approaches
- are able to balance transparency with harmony
- are open to learn from others and appreciate diversity
- inclusive in your dealings – no “us” vs. “them”
- eager to co-create new ideas and solutions, and
- can prevent, resolve and create trust in conflict
What happens?
- We activate the Connect. Communicate. Co-create. action by delivering content designed with passion!
- We make your knowledge acquisition experiential and therefore memorable!
- We create bespoke illustrated company relevant handbooks containing expert solutions for your unique requirements.
Who is this for?
You. Your team or company.Especially if you are an international project manager or business leader in charge of culturally diverse teams.
What you get
If you are interested in getting personal C-CS coaching contact Hester.
If you are interested in getting C-CS for your team or company you will get our:
- Passion Planning Program. This includes bespoke solutions designed specifically for your company/team such as survey analysis, consultation, seminars/workshops and follow-up coaching sessions.
- Storytelling – the Training Program which includes
keynote talks, seminars/workshops boosted with real time graphic recording and visualisation of content if you want.
- Visual Wording – the Handout Program which is a company relevant handbook containing your very own intercultural encounters, with practical how to’s and explanations, as well as illustrations.
Home
Connect. Communicate. Co-create.
WELCOME TO MY WORLD
I support people across cultures in cultivating connection through clarity in communication.
My work in
South Africa, South East Asia, India and the European Union
has taught me that
– collaborative co-creation can only happen through curiosity –
– cross-cultural success relies on how well we know ourselves and our culture –
– intercultural savvy (CQ) goes beyond sharing a common language and “being nice” –
This is what I do
I support you in your cross-cultural business activities and communication skills. My coaching and training provides insights and “user friendly” tools to assist you in understanding complex cultural and communication issues.
Much of your/our success depends on the words we choose to use. When we understand how our own culture and social conditioning affects our communication and behavior, we become better at understanding others.
Language acquisition, honed communication skills, as well as a shift in perspective and attitude, fosters an inclusive approach which promotes individual as well as team success.
CONNECT
CO-CREATE
WHAT’S IN IT FOR YOU?
Your skills are refined which gets you eager exchange in work and play.
Connect
Your experiential learning equips you with confidence and credibility.
Communicate
The world is your oyster when it comes to opportunities and success.
Co-create
I so enjoy being instrumental in and contributing to “a change for the better” in our world. We all need to change our personal and collective thinking – 2020 has proven this – and the only way to do this is through the conversations we are having. We need to put a better message out to the world!
In a nutshell? “cultura”(Latin) which comes from the verb “colo” or “colere” means to tend, care, look after and cultivate. I support people in communicating and bringing their ideas and ways of doing things, together. Meaningful communication and interpersonal collaboration is achieved with curiosity, compassion (EQ) and cultural understanding (CQ).
They say you’ll fall in love! And, get excited, inspired to “get going” and get what you want by my encouraging no-buts, kick-butt style!
Through conversation and thought provoking questions to inspire reflection, clarity, action and change. I also blog a bit.
Coaching for Transformation
Man’s mind, once stretched…
Man’s mind once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions. Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Studies show that we humans only put into use 20% of what we learn while the other 80% is left inactive, on our subconscious shelf. This means that because we’re only doing 20% of what we could be doing we’re only achieving 20% of our true potential.
This means that you are only achieving 20% of your greatness!
It’s time to change this! It’s time (re)activate the 80% wealth of resources you have stashed away in your treasure chest and let it see the light of day!
Coaching and Transformation
Transformation – word origin and history – mid 14c., from Latin “transformare”. To change the shape or form – from “trans”- meaning across and “formare” meaning to form.
Transformation is not change. Think of water. Freeze it, boil it, steam and condense it – it changes form but returns to being water. But, when something has been transformed it cannot return to its original state.
Having the flexibility to change is good – having the courage to transform your life is better! You are the only one in charge. You can go for the 80% and live large. Or stay where you are. Your call.
You can achieve more than you imagine – you simply have to want it.
Our guiding map will be:
-
curiosity – to rediscover your wealth of resources
-
courage – to challenge un-serving beliefs, let them go and re-invent yourself
-
consciousness – to engage with compassion and clarity
-
collaboration – in a non-judgemental, no nonsense way
-
commitment – accountability to show up in your new life
The Coaching Process
Primary focus and model: creating actionable strategies for achieving specific goals.
What’s it about: a desire for change, by your personal definition.
Past reference: only briefly, to understand the past as context in which move forward toward the things you want.
Questions: to seek insight and clarity – the emphasis is on activating action.
Your goals: identify existing resources, new skills, new tools and insights and to “move”, by personal definition, to a more empowered, satisfying and successful future.
Accountability for goals: coaching goals, like business goals, usually have to do with one’s external world and behaviour, and can be measured.
Relationship: co-creative equal “partnership” I offer insights and perspectives which support you in discovering your answers.
Function: to identify your blocks and challenges; to turn challenges into victories and hold you accountable to achieve them
My style: kick-butt to your yes or no buts! I’m going to nudge, propel, catapult, spark, and apply direct, straight talk.
Rate of change: growth and progress is rapid! Like any other “change” process it can be uncomfortable at first but is replaced by a high sense of achievement.
Responsibility for outcomes: me the coach = process; you the client = results.
YOUR TRANSFORMATION STARTS HERE AND NOW
- All our “content” is treated in the strictest confidence.
- All coaching is conducted as per legal requirements of the professional coaching body and adheres to regular supervision and ethical practice.
Contact me if you would like to know more or want to make an appointment.
General Terms and Conditions.
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